


Love, Kent

by omg-kent-mashkov (Sotheylived)



Category: Check Please! (Webcomic)
Genre: Anxiety, Getting Back Together, Getting Together, Letters, M/M, Pen Pals, Secret Admirer
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-11-03
Updated: 2018-11-21
Packaged: 2019-08-16 19:17:49
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 11
Words: 20,467
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16501178
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Sotheylived/pseuds/omg-kent-mashkov
Summary: Things are actually good for once. Kent’s got a great team, a secret pen pal, and a decent shot at winning the cup...  then he gets traded to the Falconers.





	1. Chapter One

From: somehowyoustillmakemesmile@gmail.com  
To:  anonymous190@gmail.com  
Date: 11/13 10:15am  
Subject: Confession Time

Hey Anon,

I moderate the blog and I’ve literally never responded directly to anyone before, but I felt like I had to respond to you. Ngl that post damn near gave me a heart attack when I read it. I’ve never even said it aloud before and it seems ridiculously hard to write here. But you know, hashtag same. I get it, ok? I’m pro too. I don’t expect you to respond or anything, but I guess I just wanted you to know you aren’t alone.

Sincerely,

Pique

 

He didn’t expect a response, but that didn’t keep him from staring at the screen of his phone every chance he got over the following week. Kent didn’t even realize how distracted he was until a sock smacked him in the head. Kent looked up to see Jeff looking at him expectantly.

“Dude, you’ve been out of it for days. What’s going on? You worried about the game?” he whispered the last part with a surreptitious look around the room to make sure none of their teammates were listening. Swoops didn’t know everything that went down between Jack and Kent and he certainly didn’t know Kent was gay, but he knew enough to worry about Kent whenever their teams played one another.  

Kent stuffed his phone into his bag before plastering on his best _Kent Parson_ smile. “We’re good,” he said to Jeff before raising his voice for the rest of the locker room to hear. “Let’s go out there and win this boys.”

There were shouts and cheers that washed right over Kent as he led his team out onto the rink. He was so distracted thinking about who the mystery poster was that he barely even spared Jack a thought. When he’d first seen the post, Kent had entertained the idea that it was Jack, but he knew it couldn’t be. Jack was straight. They’d been experimenting. It was a mistake. He knew how this story ended.

The game was brutal, as games against the Falconers always were, but for the first time in literal years Kent was more interested in winning than he was in antagonizing Jack. Unfortunately for him, antagonizing Jack was apparently a more effective motivator.

The team was somber as they walked back to the locker room. They’d been tied for the majority of the game, but Jack made a game winning goal in the last minute. Kent was stuck doing press longer than usual, the journalists peppering him with questions about Zimms. This was Jack’s third year with the Falconers. Kent had figured the media’s interest in their rivalry would have died down by now. Unfortunately he had no such luck.

 _Mr. Parson! How was it playing against Jack Zimmermann again? Kent do you think Jack’s intimate knowledge of your playing style contributed to your loss tonight? Do you and Jack keep in touch?_ And on and on and on. The smile on his face was never real. He felt like a puppet with a stitched on grin. He’d gotten so good at faking it for the media only someone who knew him well would be able to tell it wasn’t real - no one ever noticed it wasn’t real.

By the time Kent started back towards his condo on the other side of the strip, everyone else was already long gone. He parked his car and made his way up to his apartment on autopilot. He dumped his duffle next to the door and collapsed down onto the couch, reaching out to draw Kit into his lap when she honored him with her presence. He fell asleep half falling off the couch with his legs going numb under the awkward pressure of Kit’s weight.

The following morning he woke to Kit standing on his chest and meowing directly into his face. There was a tickle in his throat and a twinge in his back as he dislodged her and moved into the kitchen to get her food. Kit twisted between his legs nearly tripping him more than once as he got her food out and warmed it up for her. She meowed at him impatiently.

“Alright, alright. Here you go princess.” Kent set the food on the floor and drifted off to find his phone.

As soon as he found it - buried at the bottom of his duffle underneath a dirty jock - he thumbed it open and stared blearily at the email notification. His heart jumped into his throat as he tabbed it open.

 

From: anonymous190@gmail.com  
To: somehowyoustillmakemesmile@gmail.com  
Date: 11/20 11:45pm  
Subject: Re: Confession Time

Pique,

I’ve followed your blog for a long time and always assumed you were a college player or a fan. I never considered that you could be pro too. I hope you aren’t insulted by that. I don’t know if I would have confessed if I had known, but I’m glad I did. Even if I never come out, I’m glad to have told the universe so to speak, at least once. I’m guessing if you’ve never said it aloud, no one knows about you? When did you know?

Sincerely,

Anon

P.S. Should it embarrass me that I had to ask a friend what Anon meant?

 

Kent read the email almost a dozen times, with a stupid grin on his face before tapping out a reply.

 

From: somehowyoustillmakemesmile@gmail.com  
To: anonymous190@gmail.com  
Date: 11/21 9:45am  
Subject: Re: Re: Confession Time

Anon, 

I am definitely judging you for not knowing what Anon means. Does this mean that you’re one of the old guys on your team, with one foot in retirement? Or are you just a dork?

Pique

 

From: somehowyoustillmakemesmile@gmail.com  
To: anonymous190@gmail.com  
Date: 11/21 9:47am  
Subject: I’m an idiot

Shit! That sounded really rude when I reread it. I’m sorry, I was just super excited you responded and sometimes (read: all the time) I say things without thinking them through first. I meant to tease you, but now you’re going to think I’m a giant asshole. I’m sorry!

 

From: somehowyoustillmakemesmile@gmail.com  
To: anonymous190@gmail.com  
Date: 11/21 9:55am  
Subject: Ahhhhhh

Just realized I didn’t answer any of your questions or really respond to anything else you said except for the Anon thing. So no, no one knows about me. Unless you count my cat or the guy I dated like a decade ago. I keep toying with the idea of telling one of my teammates who’s my best friend, but it never seems like the right moment. Maybe there’s no such thing as the right moment and I’ll keep on waiting until I die. As for knowing I’m - you know, I didn’t really figure it out until I was making out with the aforementioned guy. What about you? Does anyone know you’re gay? Did you ever date anyone?

Pique

 

Kent groaned and threw his arm in front of his face. He was so stupid. He was definitely going to scare Anon away. He should’ve let himself wake up completely before responding to the email. His phone vibrated in his hand and Kent didn’t bother glancing at the screen. There were only three people that ever called him anyway, his agent, Jeff, or his dad - he knew it wouldn’t be his dad.

“I’m so fucking stupid,” he said to himself as he answered the call.

“Now you have to say two positive things about yourself,” Jeff said without missing a beat.

“You weren’t supposed to hear that.”

“Too bad." 

“Why’d you call Jeff?”

“Two positive things Parser.”

Ugh. Kent hung up only for his phone to start ringing a second later. He could have ignored it, but that would mean a surprise visit from his friend and he definitely didn’t want to have to pretend everything was okay.

“I’m a good hockey player and I look good,” he said, forgoing a greeting.

“You’re an amazing hockey player and you look damn fine,” Jeff corrected without missing a beat. “You want to talk about what’s got you putting yourself down?”

“No,” Kent said forlornly.

“Okay.” That was the good thing about Jeff. He didn’t push. That had drawn Kent to him in the first place, back when he was even more of a walking basket case his first year with the Aces. “So I was calling to see if you and Scraps wanted to play a pickup basketball game this afternoon after that meeting with management.”

“Seriously Swoops? You know some of us played a hockey game last night.”

“Come on Parser. It’ll be fun. I promise Scraps and I won’t go to hard on you.”

Kent barked out a laugh as he wandered into his bedroom to change into his basketball shorts and an old t-shirt. “Why should you get him on your team?”

_/\\_ _/\\_ _/\\_

That night Kent played on the floor with Kit to distract himself from his laptop sitting on the empty end of the couch. If he didn’t check his email it was possible Anon had responded, but as soon as he checked, that possibility was gone. He lasted a half hour before caving and yanking the laptop to himself and nearly dropping it on a screeching Kit.

“I caught it,” Kent grumbled as she disappeared beneath the couch.

 

From: anonymous190@gmail.com  
To: somehowyoustillmakemesmile@gmail.com  
Date: 11/21 9:45pm  
Subject: Re: Ahhhhhh

Pique,

Breathe. Deep breath in, hold for three, release for four then repeat. You haven’t scared me away. I’ll only chirp you a little, promise.

As for being close to my retirement - I hope not! It’s only my third year in the NHL.

Have you dated anyone since the boyfriend a decade ago? I hope you aren’t lonely Pique.

As for me I’m bi actually, not gay. I had a boyfriend in highschool, but I’ve only dated women since. I’m not dating anyone now, in case you were curious. I get what you’re saying about trying to wait for the perfect time to come out. I’m out to one of my old teammates and my parents, but I definitely could have timed my coming out better in both cases. The three of them were all accepting when they found out, but it’s not the same as talking to someone who’s in the same situation. I’m glad you emailed me Pique, even if it makes me anxious that you could figure out who I am.

Are you still in touch with your old boyfriend? I know that would probably be a little awkward, but at least then you’d have someone to talk to about this stuff.

Best regards,

Anon

 

From: somehowyoustillmakemesmile@gmail.com  
To: anonymous190@gmail.com  
Date: 11/21 10:04pm  
Subject: Re: Re: Ahhhhhh

Anon,

You have no idea how relieved I am that I didn’t scare you away. That’s good your parents were cool with it. My mom probably would have been chill with it, but she died before I had figured everything out. As for my dad… I don’t think I’ll be telling him anytime soon.

Things with my ex are super awkward, like idk if he would even call what we did back then dating. I see him once in a while, but I wouldn’t say we’re in touch exactly. Talking to you is really the first time I’ve talked to anyone about this.

I feel like everything I’m saying makes me seem like a young call up, but I am probably much closer to retirement than you’re thinking. And you don’t have to worry, I promise I won’t start googling all the NHL players who joined teams in 2015. It’s probably for the best that we both keep our anonymity.

Pique


	2. Chapter Two

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Kent has a long overdue conversation with Jeff and sends drunken emails.

From: anonymous190@gmail.com  
To: somehowyoustillmakemesmile@gmail.com  
Date: 1/10 5:45am  
Subject: Re: PETS not PESTS

Pique,

January is certainly a busy time for all of us. I’m embarrassed to admit that I keep checking my email for updates so much the guys have taken to chirping me about cheating on them with other friends.

To answer your question, no, I don’t have any pets unfortunately. I’ve never had one actually, even when I was a kid - unless you count the goldfish I had when I was 12. I wish you’d send me a picture of your cat, but I understand you’re worried I might be able to figure out who you are if you send it.

As for the friends who came to watch my last game, it was definitely nice to see them all again. Only one of them knows about me, but he’s always been surprisingly discreet about it (especially for being such a loud person in general). Have you thought any more about coming out to your teammate? From what you’ve said it sounds like he would be accepting. I worry about you being all by yourself in this.

Yours,

Anon

 

From: somehowyoustillmakemesmile@gmail.com  
To: anonymous190@gmail.com  
Date: 1/12 3:13pm  
Subject: Out and About

Anon,

UGHHHHHH can’t I just be happy that I have you now? nvm don’t answer that. I know you think it’s a good idea to have a support system - not everything all on one person. Which I agree is good in theory. But talking about it feels impossible. My friend invited me over to his place for dinner tonight, maybe I’ll just blurt it out then.

Wish me luck,

The artist formerly known as Pique   


When Kent arrived at Jeff’s house his heart felt two sizes too big and his snapback crushed his sweat-damp hair to his forehead. Anon was right. He needed to tell someone; it was killing him keeping everything bottled up inside. Jeff was a good dude. Even if he had an issue with it and Kent effectively ruined their friendship, he probably wouldn’t tell anyone else.

Kent was turning around to escape back to his car when the door opened. “Hey Parser, come on in.”

He froze, contemplating how bad it would be if he made a break for it, when Jeff grabbed him by the collar of his shirt and nudged him inside. Kent followed him into the kitchen, grabbing a beer for both of them while Jeff finished up cooking.

“Where’s Padma?” Jeff’s wife was basically Kent’s favorite person. Plus if she was around it’d provide the perfect excuse for him to keep his mouth shut tonight.

“One of her coworkers was sick so she’s on a double right now.” Jeff returned his attention to the stove and continued talking, but Kent had a hard time focusing.

He hoped he hummed and nodded in the right places as Jeff chatted with him. Swoops was a surprisingly good cook, but Kent’s nerves had his stomach churning and Kent’s by the time the chicken quesadillas were done.

Jeff sat across from him at the table, taking a big swig of his drink. And Kent’s chaotic brain chose that moment to blurt, “I’m gay.”

Jeff set his drink down and took a bite of his quesadilla with such a calmness that Kent repeated himself, convinced his friend hadn’t heard him. Where was the shock, where was the spit take?

“Okay,” Jeff said around a mouthful of food. “Are you dating someone? Is that why you’re bringing it up now?”

“Uhm, no?” Kent was confused. It felt like his brain was three steps behind wherever this conversation was taking them.

Jeff took another bite before gesturing towards Kent’s full plate. “Bro, you better start eating before your food gets cold.”

Kent took a bite of food methodically, still unable to process what was happening. “I’m so confused.”

When Jeff finally looked up at him he started to choke, spluttering at whatever look he saw on Kent’s face. “Kent,” he said, still coughing. “Fuck.” He took another sip of his drink and the cough finally subsided. “Were you trying to come out to me just now?”

Kent nodded mutely.

“You came out to me your rookie year man.”

“What? No I did not.”

“Yeah you did. It was when we won the cup. At the end of the night you crashed at my place. You kept calling someone and leaving voicemails. Parts of the night are a little foggy, but I think I took your phone away from you at one point and you asked why he didn’t love you. Then I asked who you were talking about and you said ‘my boyfriend’ before puking all over my floor.”

Kent was stunned into silence. Jeff had known for _years_ \- basically their entire friendship - and he’d been too much of a drunk dumbass to remember.

“Why didn’t you ever say anything?”

“I thought you didn’t want to talk about it.” He tipped his beer at Kent before taking another sip. “To be fair, I also thought you remembered telling me.”

“Oh my god.” Kent pushed his plate out of the way to thunk his head down onto the table. “I can’t believe I’ve been stressing for months about telling you and you’ve already known.”

“Sorry if I made you nervous tonight. I didn’t realize you forgot - “

“You’re so Canadian,” Kent said, lifting his head. “Apologizing for no reason.”

“Are we good?”

“Yeah. We’re good.”

 

From: somehowyoustillmakemesmile@gmail.com  
To: anonymous190@gmail.com  
Date: 1/12 11:39pm  
Subject: It’s kind of a funny story….

Anon!

So I tried coming out to my friend tonight, tried being the operative word. Apparently I told him years ago after we won the cup. I can’t believe he knew - and that I didn’t remember. I feel so stupid, but also relieved because obviously things won’t change in our friendship since he’s known for literal years.  

He asked me if I was seeing anyone. I almost said yes before realizing that my anonymous penpal on the internet wasn’t exactly what he had in mind. I ended up not telling him about you. Is it selfish that I want to keep our emails to myself?

Yours,

Pique

 

From: anonymous190@gmail.com  
To: somehowyoustillmakemesmile@gmail.com  
Date: 1/13 5:31am  
Subject: Re: It’s kind of a funny story….

Pique,

I am so proud of you! I know how hard it is to actually say the words, even if he already knew ;) I’m glad you have someone in real life to talk to about all this.

If it’s selfish to keep these emails to ourselves, then I must be selfish too.

Your email boyfriend,

Anon   
  


From: somehowyoustillmakemesmile@gmail.com  
To: anonymous190@gmail.com  
Date: 1/14 1:00am  
Subject: Re: It’s kind of a funny story….

Anonnnnn

Hi! It’s sunday and I’m really drubnk. My friend said it;s a bad idea. But this weekend is liek a rollercoaster with the ups and downnns. Like I come out but dont come out to my friend then i find out I have a mystery penpal boyfrind and i kno it’s not reall y real but I really real like talking to you adn you’r prolly my best friend besides Ssssssssssssh I cant say his name or else youll figre out who i’mm

Love,

Pique

 

From: somehowyoustillmakemesmile@gmail.com  
To: anonymous190@gmail.com  
Date: 1/14 5:31am  
Subject: DO NOT OPEN PREVIOUS EMAIL

Please please please don’t open the last email I sent you! I sent it drunk and if we could both forget it ever happened I’d be eternally grateful.  


From: anonymous190@gmail.com  
To: somehowyoustillmakemesmile@gmail.com  
Date: 1/14 5:35am  
Subject: Oops

Hi Pique,

Sorry, but your second email came too late. I was already up for my morning run and had read through your drunken message. Don’t worry, I’ll only tease you about it forever.

Love,

Anon

P.S. What are you doing up already? Aren’t you hungover?

  


From: somehowyoustillmakemesmile@gmail.com  
To: anonymous190@gmail.com  
Date: 1/14 6:15am  
Subject: UGHHH

Anon,

I’m so embarrassed! Why do you have to be a crazy person who gets up at the crack of dawn to go for a run? Why can’t you be like us humans?

Love,

Pique

P.S. I think I’m actually still a little drunk

 

_/\\_ _/\\_ _/\\_

From: anonymous190@gmail.com  
To: somehowyoustillmakemesmile@gmail.com  
Date: 1/25 6:00pm  
Subject: Re:    

I’m so glad Cat is okay. Thank goodness it’s something antibiotics can fix. Are you home for a while so you can be with her while she recovers? (I promise I won’t look up any schedules to see who’s playing home games tonight)

Love,

Anon  


 

From: somehowyoustillmakemesmile@gmail.com  
To: anonymous190@gmail.com  
Date: 1/27 12:00pm  
Subject: Re: Re:   

Anon,

Sorry for the delayed response! Cat is making a speedy recovery (thank god!) and I was lucky enough to be home with her the past couple days. I have a cat sitter that comes by when we’re away, so she’ll be in good hands regardless. January is always a rough month and with Cat being sick on top of it I feel like I need to pay someone to remind me to eat and respond to my emails.

Have you thought about texting in addition to our emails? I feel like it might be easier with how busy we’ll both be in the coming months, and I really don’t want to cut back on talking to you. Google has a chat feature in it’s talk app we could use. That way we can still use our email addresses instead of phone numbers.  

Love,

Pique

 

As soon as they both downloaded the app, Kent bombarded Anon with messages. He figured that Anon knew enough about him that if he was going to be scared away he would’ve already run by now. Anon still used grammar and punctuation in his messages and wasn’t exactly the most prompt texter, but Kent found himself with his head buried waiting for a response more often than not anyway.

A dirty jock smacked Kent in the shoulder and he looked up from his phone startled. “Carl what the fuck?”

“I’d called your name five times already cap’n. Figured that was the best way to get your attention.”

Scraps put a calming hand on Kent’s shoulder before he could do something stupid like get into a fight with his teammate less than an hour before the game. “I think Carl is just jealous that you have friends outside of the team now,” Scraps said, nodding towards Kent’s phone.

Kent wasn’t sure if he should feel offended at Scrappy’s comment or not. Scraps and Jeff were really the only people he’d call friends before he and Anon started emailing, but it was sort of sad to know the rest of the guys assumed he didn’t have any.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks for reading/liking/commenting! Next update will be Tuesday.


	3. Chapter Three

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Kent gets injured and Jeff finds out about Anon.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> There is a brief mention of a past off screen death. Feel free to message me if you need more info.

Kent hated Lucas Kremlier. He was a mammoth of a defenseman for the Sharks and seemed to have it out for Kent. At literally every game the two had ever played together, he’d checked Kent harder than should be legal at least once.

This time Kent ended up not only losing, but with a concussion as well. It was only a mild one - thank fuck - but it still sucked. He wasn’t supposed to look at screens for at least a couple days - not to mention that when he tried to anyway he got the worst migraine ever - so responding to Anon was a no go.

Kent was pissed about forcibly ghosting Anon and everything hurt. Let it never be said that he was a good patient. He was staying with Swoops and Padma for the first few days of his recovery since no one trusted him to actually rest, which meant that he spent 95% of his day pestering his bff.

“Swoops. Hey Swoops. Swoopsy. Jefferson. Jeffrey. Jeffalina. Troy!”

“What?!” Swoops said, popping his head out of the kitchen to look at Kent.

“Hi.”

“Oh my god. You need a hobby,” Jeff said, walking over with a plate for each of them.

“I have a hobby.”

“Hockey doesn’t count.”

“Hey! I’ll have you know that I have a penpal.” Kent said before his brain could catch up to what he was saying.

A slow smile spread over Jeff’s face. “Is that who you’re always texting?”

“Forget I said anything.”

“No way Parser. You’re not getting off that easy. Tell me about this penpal.”

“Did I hear Kent has a penpal?!” Padma said, poking her head out of the study. Her dark hair was still pulled back in the messy braid that Kent had attempted out of sheer boredom an hour before.

“Ugh,” Kent said forlornly before taking a bite of his sandwich to stall. “He’s bi and we’re anonymous friends.”

“Is that why you’ve been extra annoying?” Padma said, plopping down on Kent’s other side. He’d come out to her a few weeks ago, bolstered by coming out to Jeff. She was unsurprisingly completely, obnoxiously supportive. “Because you haven’t been able to talk to him?”

“Kent’s always annoying.”

Kent scowled. He hated them.

“I could type out a message to him if you want.”

He loved the them.

 

Pique 1:33 pm  
Hey this is one of Pique’s teammates typing this.

Pique 1:33 pm    
He says ‘don’t worry I haven’t told him anything about you other than that you’re my bi penpal.’

Pique 1:33 pm  
The reason I’m writing this is because of a ‘stupid injury’.

Pique 1:33 pm  
He Just wanted to let you know why he’ll be off the grid for a couple of days. He misses you.

Pique 1:34 pm  
He has been such an asshole lately because he hasn’t been able to talk to you. I know he’ll be pissed at me for saying this so I’m deleting this text as soon as it sends, but I’m glad you’re friends. He’s been a lot happier lately (injury notwithstanding haha) and I think that’s in large part due to you. -J

 

Jeff was a notorious double texter, but Kent still figured it’d be a while before Anon responded. He was proven wrong less than five minutes later when his phone buzzed. Kent reached for it automatically, but Jeff held it out of his reach.

 

Anon 1:36 pm  
Is he ok

Pique 1:36 pm  
He says ‘yeah I’m fine’

Pique 1:36 pm  
I wouldn’t say he’s FINE yet, but he will be

Anon 1:37 pm  
Thank you so much for telling me. I was really worried when I didn’t hear from him at all yesterday.

Pique 1:38 pm  
Don’t mention it. I’m glad he finally told me about you

Pique 1:38 pm  
I figured there had to be someone else involved for him to talk to me about being gay rather than just ignore it for another decade

Anon 1:40 pm    
Ah, so you’re that friend. I wondered.

Pique 1:41 pm  
Yup. ask me anything u wanna no now he’s trying to stela the phone bakc

Anon 1:41 pm  
I just want to know that he’s okay. Sometimes he says things that worry me, I was so glad when he told me that he talked to you. I don’t want him to be alone in this, but I’m selfishly terrified of letting him know who I am.

Pique 1:41 pm  
Hes ok. better now with us knowing

Pique 1:43 pm  
I;ve gotta go he’s wrestling me fo rth phone is bad for injures

 

Kent struggled up against Jeff, trying to yank the phone out of his hands. There was far too much buzzing and typing going on for how much Swoops had read aloud.

“Give me the freaking phone Swoops.”

Swoops leapt up off the couch and darted out of reach, pressing a few buttons before grinning triumphantly and throwing the phone to Padma. “I didn’t say anything embarrassing and deleted the conversation already. So no going against your doctor’s orders and looking at the screen since there’s nothing to look at. Okay?”

“Come on Padma. Let me see it?” He gave her his best puppy dog eyes.

Padma shook her head unswayed. Kent groaned and flopped back onto the couch, sandwich forgotten on the table. Jeff was so annoying. He’d just have to ask Anon what they talked about once he was better.

 

_/\\_ _/\\_ _/\\_

 

When Kent was finally able to look at screens again two days later he had a half dozen text messages from various teammates, current and former and an email from Anon wishing him a speedy recovery. There was a message from his father too. Kent closed his eyes and took a deep breath before clicking open the text. Might as well get it over with.

 

Dad 4:45 am  
Heard u got hurt. u need to avoid fights. One of these times u won’t get back up off the ice, then where will we be?

Dad 4:46 am  
Pls send money

 

It wasn’t anything worse than he was expecting, but Kent gritted his teeth anyway. He tapped over to his secret email account and began typing a message before he could even think about it.

 

From: somehowyoustillmakemesmile@gmail.com  
To: anonymous190@gmail.com  
Date: 2/10 7:31am  
Subject: Tell me something good

 

Anon,

I can look at screens again (thank god). Any chance you have good news you can share with me? I need a distraction from my shitty life.

Love,  
Pique

  
  


From: anonymous190@gmail.com  
To: somehowyoustillmakemesmile@gmail.com  
Date: 2/10 7:35am  
Subject: Re: Tell me something good

 

Pique,

I’m sorry to hear you need a distraction. Do you want to talk about it? If not we can talk about how all my teammates started chirping me for racing to my phone after every practice hoping to hear from you these past few days. I’m glad no one was around to see my face when my phone buzzed with a new email notification just now.

Love,  
Anon

  


From: somehowyoustillmakemesmile@gmail.com  
To: anonymous190@gmail.com  
Date: 2/10 7:42 am  
Subject: Re: Tell me something good

 

Pique,

I hope you’re ready for a sob story… My mom was a single parent when I was a kid, she took on a second job so I could play hockey. She was diagnosed with stage 4 cancer when I was 15 and died a couple months later. She _loved_ watching me play. Even when she was really sick she’d always ask one of the other moms to tape my games so she could watch.

Anyway, I ended up in foster care after that. Luckily my coach saw potential in me and sent a tape to his friend (a retired pro player) who ended up helping me get into juniors and find a billet family for me. I didn’t even find out that he paid the billet family fee until an embarrassing time later. In the off season I went back to the group home.

When I was drafted my dad came out of the woodwork. At first I didn’t believe him, but my agent suggested a paternity test and it came back positive. He comes to see me on Thanksgiving and Christmas, and in exchange I give him around $100,000 a year. He lives in Vegas so once in a while he’ll drop in to “check on me” when his gambling is particularly bad. He texted me “heard u got hurt. You need to avoid fights. One of these times u won’t get back up off the ice, then where will we be? Pls send money” this morning and I guess I just needed to get it off my chest. Thanks for listening.

Love,  
Pique

 

From: anonymous190@gmail.com  
To: somehowyoustillmakemesmile@gmail.com  
Date: 2/10 7:45am  
Subject: Re: Tell me something good

 

Pique,

I am so angry on your behalf. He doesn’t love you and appreciate you the way you deserve to be loved. I wish there was something I could do for you. Have you suggested he try to quit gambling, maybe if he tackles his addiction he will be better able to be there for you.

Love,  
Anon

P.S. I suspect I know now why he wouldn’t be supportive of the gay thing and it’s making me angry all over again. I think if your dad and I ever end up in the same room you’ll have to distract me from giving him a piece of my mind.

 

From: somehowyoustillmakemesmile@gmail.com  
To: anonymous190@gmail.com  
Date: 2/10 7:55am  
Subject: I can’t believe you made me smile

 

Anon,

I thought my entire day was set to be ruined, but somehow you still made me smile - definitely taking advantage of the opportunity to use the quote from my email ;) I’ve never confronted him. I think I’m afraid of losing him. He’s the only family I have and I sort of latched onto him when I was going through a hard time after the draft. It’s nice not to have to spend holidays alone. You know?

Love,  
Pique

 

From: anonymous190@gmail.com  
To: somehowyoustillmakemesmile@gmail.com  
Date: 2/10 7:59am  
Subject: One Day

 

Pique,

I have been thinking about this a lot lately, and your most recent email has only solidified my resolve. I’m not ready yet, and I don’t know when I will be, but I want to meet you. I want you to spend your holidays with my family. I want to have a future together. I don’t want to hide in the closet forever anymore. I hope you can see a future for us as well. Even if we somehow didn’t work out. I know that you are my best friend and I want you in my life, and not just over email.

Love,  
Anon

 

Kent couldn’t wipe the smile off his face as he drove to practice. As soon as Jeff arrived (fifteen minutes before any of their other teammates, but still ten minutes after Kent) Kent pulled him into one of the empty conference rooms with a grin. He told Jeff about the emails he and Anon sent back and forth together that morning, unable to contain his excitement.

“What the fuck Parser,” Jeff said when Kent was done speaking and for one horrible moment he thought he’d somehow ruined everything, but then Jeff continued. “You know you can _always_ spend holidays with me and Padma. I had no idea things with your dad were so shitty.”

“What?”

“I thought you didn’t see him all that often because he lives far away or some shit. I didn’t know he lived in Vegas.”

“Oh my god.” Kent bent in half, hands wrapped tight around his abdomen to keep from falling apart.

Jeff’s hand came down on his shoulder, rubbing calm and reassuring strokes into his shoulder. “Breathe Kent. You’ll always have me. Your dad isn’t -”

“No, not my dad,” Kent choked out. “I basically told Anon that I’m on the Aces.”

Jeff looked confused for a minute before he shook his head. “Kent. From what you said about only seeing him a few times a year, I’m pretty sure you made it seem like you’re on any team other than the Aces.”

Kent let out a sigh of relief. He felt immediately better at Jeff’s words. “Yeah, yeah you’re probably right.”

“I’m always right Parser,” Jeff said slinging an affable arm around his shoulder. “When are you going to realize that?”

 

_/\\_ _/\\_ _/\\_

 

When Kent got out of practice two days later he had a text from Anon.

 

Anon 4:46 pm  
Does your friend J have an account on this texting app?

 

Kent stared at the screen for a long moment before finally tilting the screen so Jeff could see as they walked out to their cars together.

“I can make one,” Swoops said. “If you’re cool with it.”

Kent shrugged and tapped out an affirmative. Everyone liked Swoops better than him anyway.

 

_/\\_ _/\\_ _/\\_

 

Pique 8:45 am  
Hey Anon are you doing anything for the worst holiday in the history of the universe tomorrow?

Anon 9:31 am  
I’m picking up on some resentment here. Ha . I don’t have anything planned other than practice.

Pique 11:45 am  
Good. Keep your evening free

 

Valentine’s day always sucked. If it wasn’t the questions about who he was spending the day with, it was hearing about all the plans people around him were making. Even Scrappy had spoken about plans with a woman he was seeing that evening - which he was chirped mercilessly for since the pair had only met a week prior.

Even though this year wasn’t as bad as usual since he had a plan for Anon this evening, Kent was drained by the time he made it home after practice. He had only just fed Kit and settled into the couch when there was a rap at the door. Jeff and Scraps were the only guys who’d come over unannounced, but Kent knew for a fact that the pair of them both had plans.

When Kent answered the door there was a delivery man standing there with the biggest bouquet of roses he’d ever seen. Kent was about to tell the man he had the wrong apartment when he spoke.

“Kent Parson?”

Kent nodded dumbfounded and signed the slip of paper pushed at him before accepting the flowers and heading back into his apartment. He set the bouquet down on his counter and threw a warning glance at Kit who’d started to stalk closer. He plucked the card nestled within the flowers and rested his forearms on the counter to read it.

 

Pique,

I hope you have the happiest of Valentine’s days knowing that someone out there is thinking of you. Perhaps next year we will spend the holiday together.

Love,  
Anon

 

Kent’s heart thumped unsteadily as he stared at the words reading them over and over again. He pulled out his phone and took a picture, halfway through creating an instagram post before realizing that he’d be giving himself away if he did. Instead he backed out of the app and sent the picture to Anon.

 

Pique 5:30 pm  
[Image of red roses in a white vase sparking on a white granite counter in the setting sun]  
How did you manage this???

Anon 5:30 pm  
I enlisted J’s help. That’s why I wanted a way to contact him. I figured the only way I could get a gift to you would be to ask J to place the order for me and send him my paypal info.

Pique  5:32 pm  
That’s gutsy. J could be a thief for all you know

Anon 5:32 pm  
I figured it was worth the risk

Pique 5:33 pm  
I can’t stop smiling

Anon 5:36 pm  
So don’t stop

Pique 5:40 pm  
My idea is going to be so lame now. But whatever I didn’t have a co conspirator so you can’t complain. I just emailed you a link.

Anon 5:45 pm  
Is this a documentary on the history of photography?

Pique 5:46 pm  
The link is synchronized so when you click play it’ll start on my computer too.

Pique 5:46 pm  
We don’t have to watch if you don’t want to.

Pique 5:46 pm  
I just thought you might be interested.

Anon 5:47 pm  
That is an amazing idea. This is the best valentine’s day I’ve ever had.

Pique 5:48 pm  
Me too

 

Twelve days later Kent was traded.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks for reading, your comments and kudos give me life!


	4. Chapter Four

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Kent struggles to cope in the aftermath of the trade.

One minute he was at practice less than five hours away from the trade deadline, the next he was being thanked for his ‘service’ to the team. His _service,_ as if he were their mediocre waiter. The Aces had never made it to the playoffs before him. They’d won the fucking cup three times since. Those wins were stitched together with his sweat and blood and tears. And they were trading him.

Management wasn’t done talking, but Kent leapt up and ran to the bathroom. He was vomiting before he’d even fully processed what was happening. He threw up until his stomach was empty and dry heaved for a moment after. His skin was clammy as he rinsed his mouth out in the sink. It shouldn’t be the end of the world - players got traded all the time, but Kent wasn’t just any player. He’d been on the Aces for years. He was the face of the franchise. He thought he was untouchable. His entire life was in Vegas.

There was a knock at the bathroom door. Kent splashed his face in an attempt to regain some semblance of control. A moment later the door opened. It wasn’t anyone from management; they must have been smart enough to realize he needed someone else right now. He needed Jeff. The tears that had been welling ever since he heard the news spilled over at the sight of his friend.

“Oh Kent,” Jeff said, striding forward into the room and wrapping him up in a big hug. “You are a fucking hero. You’ll be okay. Everything will be okay.”

Kent let the words surround him and took a deep calming breath, trying to time his breathing with Jeff’s. Finally he pulled back from the hug and swiped at his eyes.

“I’ve got this.”

“Yeah you do.”

Kent strode back into the conference room with confidence he didn’t feel. He’d leave this place like the Stanley Cup champion and captain he was.

_/\\_ _/\\_ _/\\_

Kent was on his way to the airport within an hour. His teammates had been shocked and angry when they heard the news. If he had the ability to feel anything other than numb that probably would have warmed him. As it was, he sat in the first class lounge staring at the wall. Luckily there was no one else in the room with him.

He needed to get out of his own head and the best way to do that was to talk to Anon. He wanted to tell him, but if he texted or emailed him about the trade now there was no way he wouldn’t figure out who Kent was. Even if by some miracle Anon didn’t figure it out immediately, there were only a handful of players traded today and it would be far too revealing to tell him.

Kent made a deal with himself while sitting on the most plush chair at the airport in an empty room and feeling like he was about to break. If he waited at least a week, he could talk to Anon about the trade. That way he could be any one of the dozens of guys who were traded in the weeks leading up to the deadline. Not the Aces captain who was thanked for his freaking service before being traded to his ex’s team.

He was tired and pissed off and had just received a text from his dad when he arrived in Providence, so it was probably a mistake for the Falconers to send Jack to pick him up. Kent sighed when he saw Zimms standing awkwardly by the arrivals before plastering on a smile and making his way over.

“Didja miss me?” Kent said when he was close enough for Jack to hear.

Jack’s face darkened for a second before he stepped forward. “Welcome to the team,” he said as if they didn’t know each other.  

Kent bristled. “Seriously Zimms. What the fuck kind of greeting is that?” He spoke louder than he’d intended and more than a dozen heads swiveled in their direction.

Unlike Vegas where Kent could fly under the radar, it was instantly obviously that nearly everyone looking on recognized them. He could see the TMZ headline now, _Stormy Providence Welcome for Former Aces Captain._ Before he could do even further damage to an already crumbling relationship, Kent tried to release the tension in his shoulders.

“Sorry Zimms, long flight. You know.”

Jack just nodded and took the bag from Kent’s hand, leading him to the parking garage without a word. It was going to be a long season.

They put Kent up in a hotel until he could find a place (thank fuck they didn’t expect him to stay with Jack). If it were up to him he would stay in the hotel until he could negotiate a trade out of Providence, but he couldn’t do that. It would mean months without a real kitchen and somehow sneaking Kit past hotel security.

The morning after his trade he was at the rink before anyone else, getting the grand tour from management - who could barely suppress the dollar signs in their eyes every time they looked at him. They only mentioned Jack 8 times, which Kent thought showed particular restraint. By the time he was released to go on the ice, the rest of the team had already started warmups.

“Sup losers?” Kent said, because he was an idiot when he was panicky.

A couple of the younger guys laughed tentatively, while he received scowls from almost everyone else. Kent skated over to his new teammates, trying to control the urge to lash out. He was paired with Zimms for a passing drill and it was obvious after the third flubbed pass in a row that this was going to be a shit show.

“Little rat,” Mashkov said, when practice was nearly over. Kent was about ready to murder someone - or cry - probably cry. “Try to score without rush goalie now yes?”

It was probably meant to be a friendly chirp, but Kent bristled and bit his tongue hard enough to taste the metallic tang of blood. He shrugged instead of retorting and turned back to his locker, pointedly ignoring his teammates making plans with one another around him.

When Kent got back to his hotel room he called Jeff and just the sound of his voice was enough for the tears building all day to spill over again. Jeff stayed on the phone with him for over an hour, but Kent wanted to talk longer. He was too embarrassed to say anything though, so when Jeff asked if he was better now he lied.

Once he hung up with Swoops he stared at his phone for a long minute before breaking down and texting Anon.

 

Pique 7:59 pm  
My dad told me he was proud of me today

Anon 8:15 pm  
Pique! That’s awesome. I’m glad he’s making an effort to rebuild your relationship.

Pique 8:16 pm  
I was traded. He asked if I was offered more money before sending that text.

Anon 8:17 pm  
I don’t even know what to say. I know how much your team means to you and this can’t be easy. Don’t worry about your dad if you can help it.

 

Kent wished he wasn’t so afraid of being discovered. He wanted to hear Anon’s voice, he wanted to be wrapped up in a warm hug and never let go. He settled for sinking into a ball on the gross hotel room carpet instead.

 

From: somehowyoustillmakemesmile@gmail.com  
To: anonymous190@gmail.com  
Date: 3/1 7:55 pm  
Subject: My New Team Hates Me

 

Anon,

 

Sorry I’ve been nothing but a sob story these past few days. Feel free to tell me to shut up. I just don’t really have anyone to talk to anymore. I loved my old team and even though most of us didn’t hang out together outside of team events, I still felt like a part of something. My new teammates hate me.

The captain and one of the most social guys on the team both hate me (for different reasons), but they’ve basically poisoned the whole team against me. We had a game the other day and we absolutely got demolished. It was embarrassing.

 

Love,  
Pique

  


From: anonymous190@gmail.com  
To: somehowyoustillmakemesmile@gmail.com  
Date: 3/1 8:55 pm  
Subject: Re:My New Team Hates Me

 

Pique,

 

I feel your pan about disastrous games! And I don’t know how anyone who knows you couldn’t like you. Have you tried asking one of your less hostile teammates to grab lunch or something. (I’m shocked your captain wouldn’t put his grudge aside to help you transition), but maybe if you have a friend on the team it will make the rest of your teammates come around.

 

Thinking of you,  
Anon

  


From: somehowyoustillmakemesmile@gmail.com  
To: anonymous190@gmail.com  
Date: 3/5 7:12 pm  
Subject: WHY AM I SO AWKWARD

 

Anon,

 

So I tried to take your advice and ask the goalie to dinner the other day since he seems like the most chill guy on the team, but the Social Teammate - who we shall refer to as S.T. for the purposes of this presentation - overheard me and thought I was trying to get Goalie alone to poison him or some shit.

Anyway he sort of yelled at me? Idk I was mostly confused. So I was like yeah whatever and acted like it didn’t bother me when I went to shower. I was crying in the shower and feeling sorry for myself since I thought everyone else had already left. Then when I walked out of the showers, all red faced and blotchy (it wasn’t pretty), ST was still at his locker.

He looked up at me and I tried to look away before he noticed I was crying, but it was pretty obvious. Anyway he felt super guilty and apologized to me! He said he tried to leave things that happened on the ice on the ice, but he didn’t want to intentionally sabotage my attempts at making friends. I could tell he definitely felt really guilty - which like, he didn’t even say anything that bad - but he invited me over and we hung out for a while and he’s actually a pretty chill dude. Then today he invited me out with some of the other guys from the team and it wasn’t a disaster.

Sorry for dominating the conversation lately. Anything new in your life?

 

Love,  
Pique

 

With Alexei on his side, Kent’s interactions with the rest of the team - excluding Jack - were suddenly much more successful. They still hadn’t won a game together, but their most recent loss wasn’t as horribly embarrassing as the two prior. He and Jack were still as animus as ever, but he at least didn’t feel ostracized by the entire team anymore.

 

Anon 12:20 pm  
You made me realize I haven’t been as welcoming to our new trades as I could be. You’ve inspired me to reach out to them.

 

He had barely finished reading the text when Jack of all people called his name.

“Do you want to grab lunch?”

Kent blinked at Jack dumbly for a long uncomprehending moment before nodding. He never did learn how to say no to Jack Zimmermann. Lunch was awkward to say the least, they both stared at their menus without speaking as though they held the secrets of the universe. Their waiter saved Kent from blurting something stupid just to stop the sheer awkwardness by arriving a moment later. They placed their orders and before the silence could fall again, Kent spoke.

“I’m sorry.” He hadn’t intended to say it - not until Jack said it first at least, but if Jack was big enough of a person to invite Kent out, then Kent could apologize for the shit in their past. “I know it’s probably too little too late, and then I was acting like an asshole when I first got here because - my whole life is - was - in Vegas and -”

“Kenny,” Jack said with a small indulgent smile on his face. Kent stopped talking and tried to downplay the big gasping breath he needed after that word vomit. “I’m sorry too. Maybe we can forget about all that anger in our past and start over as friends again?”

“I’d like that.”

It was far easier to talk the rest of their lunch, and when it was time to leave neither one of them seemed keen on going. Before Kent could call a cab to his hotel, Jack was inviting him back to his place before their game that evening - and fuck if Kent would say no.

Jack’s place was decorated in the same muted tones as his parent’s house in Montreal, and Kent felt so at home when he stepped inside that he almost staggered under the weight of it.

“Alicia decorate?” he chirped, to distract himself.

Jack rolled his eyes goodnaturedly and pushed Kent further into the apartment. “Oh shut up.”

“How are your parents anyway?” Kent said once they were both settled onto the couch, only half paying attention to some travel show on the TV. He saw the Zimmermanns a couple times a year when the Aces played in Montreal. They’d take him out to dinner afterward and all spend so much of the dinner tiptoeing around the elephant in the room that it wasn’t really enjoyable for any of them. Maybe if he and Jack could keep this whole friendship thing up, they’d be able to have a dinner together like they used to.

“They’re good,” Jack said with a smile. “Maman keeps asking after you now that you’ve been traded.”

“Ah, so that’s the real reason you asked me to lunch today.”

“Well,” Jack ran a hand through his hair. “I realized I wasn’t being fair to you. For any other new player on the team, rookie or trade, I’d invite them over and give them a push in Tater’s direction for the social stuff. You were my best friend at one point and I shouldn’t have been acting like you didn’t exist.”

Kent was absolutely not going to cry in Jack fucking Zimmermann’s living room with a commercial for warts on in the background.

“Hey bud,” Jack said, _so_ soft. Soft enough to break Kent’s resolve.

A tear slipped down his cheek and Kent swiped at it angrily.

“We’re a team Kenny.” Kent had to bite back a sob at the old nickname. “I’ve got your back.”

“Yeah well, shut up Zimms,” Kent said, unthinking, but instead of reacting like he had the past couple years, Jack smacked him in the shoulder and grinned his chirpiest grin at him. For a second, with laughter on his lips and the afternoon sunlight on his face, they were in juniors again before everything, when they were just two friends ready to take on the world together.

_/\\_ _/\\_ _/\\_

They arrived to the rink together after Jack had made two pb&js without even thinking and Kent was absolutely not allowed to fall back in love with him. He definitely wasn’t still in love with him. The rest of the team stopped talking as soon as they walked into the locker room and Kent grinned.

“Let’s fucking win this tonight.” Shouts and cheers sounded from his teammates and Kent met Jack’s eye over the din and smiled.

* * *

 

# They're Back: Zimmermann and Parson Dazzle on Home Ice

Dan Nelson   11:45 PM ET  
ESPN Staff Writer

 

For nearly a decade, Kent Parson has been a force to be reckoned with, but a surprising mid-season trade had analysts wonder whether the Las Vegas big shot was anything without the steadying power of the Aces behind him. It’s no secret that Parson’s first three games with the Providence Falconers were rocky, but ask anyone who paid attention to the game last night and they’ll tell you that when Zimmerman and Parson are on ice together, it’s magic.

“There was some hesitation when we first considered acquiring Parson,” Coach Ryan MacKenzie said after the 8-0 shutout last night. “My colleagues were worried that the explosive on-ice chemistry they [Parson and Zimmermann] had in the Q wouldn’t be there anymore. That was the least of my concerns. They’re both extraordinary players and I knew it was only a matter of time before they found their groove together again.”  

It seems the Las Vegas Aces are hurting without Parson. The team has only managed to scrape together one win since the trade more than a week ago. Aces defenseman Jeffrey Troy said of the trade, “[Parson’s] trade is ridiculous. Anyone who’s ever seen him play knows he’s an amazing player."

The Falconers seem far more happy with the unexpected trade. Sebastien St. Martin called Parson and Zimmermann’s chemistry last night, “the most natural thing I’ve ever seen.”

When asked for a comment about his move to the Falconers, Parson said, “My goal is to play hockey as long as I can. You have to remember Zimms and I learned to play together. At the end of the day hockey will always be something I associate with Jack Zimmermann.”

It seems inevitable at this point that a playoff run is sure to be in their future. But no matter what happens, it’s guaranteed everyone will be watching Parson and Zimmermann this year.

 

Pique 3:33 am  
Things are looking up Anon.

  
Anon 5:45 am  
I’m glad to hear that :)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I know they seem so oblivious right now - but they'll figure it out eventually :) Next update will be Sunday. Thanks so much for reading and all of your wonderful comments!


	5. Chapter Five

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Jack makes an announcement and Kent is equal parts oblivious and confused.

Jeff 7:30 pm   
Just saw that ESPN article, I hope that means things are getting better. Call me. 

They had a string of away games in the week following Kent’s first win on the Falconers and they won them all. Kent was sitting up in bed watching TV the night before they were set to fly back to Providence when there was a knock at his door. 

Jack was standing there looking so much like he did when they were kids that it took Kent’s breath away for a moment. 

“Hey, um I thought maybe - ” Jack held up a worn deck of cards in his hand. 

Kent stared at him dumbly for a moment too long, and Jack withdrew his hand. 

“Nevermind. It was a dumb idea.” 

“Yes!” Kent said, far louder than he intended. “I’d love to. I just - sorry sorry come in. Please.” 

Jack smiled shyly and came inside, shutting the door behind him. When the pair of them were in juniors Kent never had any spending money to speak of and he’d refused handouts from Jack. Before things went sideways, the pair of them used to play card games in their room while their teammates went out. 

They were both too competitive to lose, so best two out of three became five of seven became too many to count. Some of Kent’s best memories were from nights they stayed up way too late arguing over cards. Later, when they’d been something more than friends, the games became the perfect excuse to ditch their teammates. 

Kent sat down on the bed cross legged and motioned for Jack to join him. There was only a king bed in the room since Parse didn’t have a roommate, but from the flush creeping up Jack’s neck - that Parse decided to ignore - Jack was remembering what their card games turned into as well. 

“Palace?” Kent said, sparing Jack from further embarrassment. They were in a good place now, but Kent wasn’t quite sure where the boundaries of normal friendships fell. 

“Sure Kenny.” Jack dealt them each in and immediately started picking what cards to lay down. 

Less than an hour later the pair of them had played a half dozen games and Kent was shouting at Jack for playing an ace when he knew Kent only had low cards. 

“You wasted all your wilds too early, that’s not my fault Kenny.” 

“Ugh, you have a ton of cards in your hand and you’re telling me you couldn’t play anything other than an ace?” 

Jack smirked and Kent launched himself across the bed smacking into Jack and sending them both crashing down onto the bed. He reached for Jack’s cards, but Zimms thrust his hand out of his reach. Kent squirmed trying to grab the cards, but Zimms’ firm grip on his back kept him from making any progress.

Kent huffed out a sigh of defeat a moment later and collapsed down onto Jack’s chest, only then noticing their precarious position. He scrambled back out of Jack’s lap, face flushed a brilliant red as he stuttered out an apology. 

“Kent,” Jack said, but he couldn’t force himself to meet his eyes. “Kenny,” the words were achingly soft as he cupped Kent’s chin and gently lifted up so he had no choice but to meet his eyes. “Relax. You don’t have to walk on eggshells around me. I’m sorry you ever felt that you had to.” 

He tried to form a coherent reply, something about how he was just as much at fault for everything between them if not more so, but the words died in his throat as soon as he realized Jack was still cupping his chin. 

Jack seemed to realize at the same time, because he dropped his hand like he was burned and turned to start picking the cards up from where they’d flown across the floor during their scuffle. 

“It’s late,” he said, unable to meet Kent’s eye. “I should head back to my room.” 

It was on the tip of Kent’s tongue to invite him to stay, but he couldn’t quite force the words out. Whatever had happened between them as teens wasn’t real, Jack was straight and there was no reason he couldn’t walk down the hall back to his own room. 

Kent woke to an email the next morning that made his heart sink. 

 

From: anonymous190@gmail.com  
To: somehowyoustillmakemesmile@gmail.com  
Date: 3/20 11:59 pm  
Subject: Confused

Pique, 

This is hard to type, but I feel like I might be falling for someone in real life. I know we’re technically not dating, but I also know that just over a month ago I told you that someday I’d like to meet you in real life and see if we can work together. I still want that. I don’t plan to do anything with my real life friend anyway, but I just want to be as open and honest with you as I can be when we don’t know each other’s names. Maybe we can set up a timeline for when we plan to meet so it won’t seem like there’s no finish line in sight. What do you think? 

All my love,   
Anon

 

Kent exed out of his email without responding. 

_/\\_ _/\\_ _/\\_

Kent 12:00 pm   
[image of Kit watching the door] I think she likes you better than me

Jack 12:44 pm  
I bribed her with treats.

Kent 12:45 pm  
Ha! That’s the only way Jeff could get her to like him too

 

They were closing in on the end of the regular season and with a nearly record breaking winning streak, the mood of the Falconers’ locker room was jubilant. Kent was sitting on the bench in front of his locker when Jack got the guys’ attention. It was probably a speech on how they couldn’t stop now and had to push even harder for a playoff run, so Kent was only half paying attention. 

Jack’s tone changed halfway through his speech, catching Kent’s attention. “Some of you already know what I’m about to say and I just want to thank you for your support.” Jack took a fortifying breath and Kent honestly had no idea what he was about to say. “I’m bisexual and I want you all to know that my sexuality has no effect on me as a player or as your captain and I hope you can still see me the same way.” 

There was a bit of a pause before the guys started chiming in their support, but Kent’s mind was unable to process what he’d just heard. 

“You like men?” he asked before he even realized what he was doing. 

One of the rookies turned to look at him sharply. "Is that going to be a problem?” 

Kent burst out laughing. He couldn't help it. He tried to stop the noise from escaping him, but he could barely breathe. Tears slipped out of his eyes and he wiped at them ineffectively. Someone put an arm around his shoulder and nudged him to stand. He complied without much thought. A moment later he was led into one of the private conference rooms adjacent to the locker room. 

“Kenny are you okay?” 

He took great big hiccuping breaths until he was finally able to calm down. He wiped at the tears under his eyes and stared at Jack. 

“You like men?” 

“Yes.” Jack furrowed his brow. “I thought you said that for show with the guys.” 

Kent choked back the sound threatening to escape his throat, unsure if it was a laugh or a sob. He collapsed back against the table and cursed under his breath. 

“I thought you knew. Kent we  _ dated _ . How could you not know I was attracted to men?” 

“We dated?” That last check must have been worse than Kent thought because his brain could not comprehend what he was hearing. 

“I’m confused,” Jack said, flush creeping up his cheeks. “Did you not consider what we did dating?” 

“Jack,” Kent said, brain finally kicking back online. “I loved you - hell up until six months ago I was still in love with you. We never talked about it. I always assumed what we did was just experimenting for you.” 

“You’re in love with me?”

Kent couldn’t read Jack’s tone, but he could guess Jack was afraid of Kent’s feelings ruining their reignited friendship. He rolled his eyes. “You don’t have to worry Zimms, I  _ was _ in love with you. I’m in love with someone else now.” Did it still count if he didn’t know Anon’s name?

“Right,” Jack said. “Sorry I didn’t warn you I was coming out to the team. I thought you already knew. Anyway,” he threw a thumb over his shoulder, not meeting Kent’s gaze. “We better get back there.” 

Jack turned and left the room without so much as a glance back.    
  


 

From: somehowyoustillmakemesmile@gmail.com  
To: anonymous190@gmail.com   
Date: 3/29 1:59 pm  
Subject: Re:Confused

Anon, 

I know what you mean about being confused. 

Love,   
Pique

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The next chapter was one of my favorites to write and we'll finally find out why they haven't figured out who they're messaging yet! I just need to edit the next one, so it should hopefully be up by Tuesday. Thank you all so much for the comments and kudos <3


	6. Chapter Six

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The Aces continue to struggle without Kent and Jack figures some things out.

After a couple days of awkward, stilted conversations with Anon, things returned back to normal. Things with Jack on the other hand seemed to grow only more awkward. The pair of them still hung out with and without the rest of their teammates, but it seemed like Jack was making excuses to leave earlier than he had before he’d come out to the team. Kent was convinced it was because he thought Kent was still in love with him, so he tried to act more bro-ish with Jack than ever.

A few days before playoffs started in earnest Jack had a party at his place. He invited all of the Falconers and some of his friends from Samwell as well. Kent tried not to cling to Jack the whole time and instead played pong with Alexei against Lardo and Shitty. He lost even worse than he had years prior.

“Hey Parse,” Holster or Ransom said. Kent was never certain which one was which. “How’s it going man? I hear you’re taking good care of our boy Jack.”

Kent shrugged noncommittally, but the d-man continued. “So anyway, my boy Ransom here” - apparently Holster was the blonde one talking - “has the biggest crush on Alexei Mashkov and is always too nervous to actually get more than two words out in front of the man. So I’m hoping you’ll be able to tell us a really embarrassing story about him to help Rans get over his hero worship and actually make a move.”

Ransom elbowed Holster halfway through his little speech, but Holster didn’t seem to even notice. Kent found himself smiling at the hopeful/embarrassed expressions on their faces.

“I have one,” Kent said after thinking for a moment. “The night after our game against the Schooners Thirdy burst into my room where Tater, Jack, and I were hanging out. Thirdy was on the phone with his daughter because she needed help on her biology homework and Thirdy  basically knew nothing about mitosis or whatever.

“So he comes in all panicky and is like what do you guys know about 6th grade science, which like I don’t think he was asking me - but Jack went to college so I think he was hoping he’d know something but you know Jack.”

Holster smiled and clapped Kent on the shoulder. “Yeah I’m pretty sure he took the history of scientific discovery for his science requirement.”

“Exactly, so we’re about to tell him to ask one of the other guys when Tater looks up from his phone - ‘cause he had to translate mitosis - and is like I know. And so he starts drawing all these diagrams and Thirdy had to switch over to facetime so Alexei could explain it to his daughter and we had google translate up for a lot of the more random words, but anyway, Tater is a total nerd and there’s no reason to be intimidated by him.”

Holster started laughing large gasping guffaws. Ransom let out a sound that was halfway between a whimper and a sob. “That just makes him even more intimidating.”  

Kent looked between them confused.

“He’s a bio major bro.” Holster jerked his head in Ransom’s direction. “Come on, you’ll be pissed if you don’t actually talk to him this time Ransom. Wish us luck,” he said before slinging an arm over Ransom’s shoulder and guiding him towards Mashkov.  

Kent chuckled to himself as he watched them approach Tater.

A few minutes later he was in the kitchen getting a glass of water with his back to the room when someone spoke from right behind him. “You’ve been avoiding me all night.”

“Shit!” He jumped and dropped his glass into the sink with a loud clang. “Jack you scared me.”

“Why are you avoiding me Kenny,” Jack said, a dog with a bone.

“I’m not avoiding you.” Kent turned his back to him and picked his glass up from the sink. He probably should have opted for a plastic cup, but fuck him for trying to save the environment. The kitchen was empty, quieter than the rest of the apartment and after a long uncomfortable silence Kent finally turned back around to meet Jack’s gaze.

“See!” Jack said, “You were avoiding me.”

He wasn’t - at least not intentionally - but he was trying not to ruin their friendship by falling back in love with him. So when Jack was being adorable and giving hockey advice to his old teammates or laughing as uninhibited as he’d had ever heard him, he had to avert his eyes.

“Not trying to avoid you buddy.” He sighed in defeat and leaned back against the counter. “Sorry.”

Jack shrugged and bumped his shoulder against Kent’s. “Just don’t make a habit of it, eh?”

He was dopey and a little buzzed and Jack Zimmermann was smiling at him. Kent cleared his throat and changed the subject. “So how many of your Samwell friends know you’re bi?” They were alone in the kitchen, but his voice still dropped on the last word.

“Just Shitty.”

“What? Seriously, why?”

“I knew they were okay with Bitty, but I don’t know -” Jack shrugged, flush creeping up his neck.

“You realize Shitty was pretty much the only person on your old team who’s straight, right?”

“What’re you talking about Kenny?” Jack said turning to face him.

They were standing so close together Kent took an involuntary half-step back. “Dex and Bitty are dating and Nursey is in a polycule with Chowder I think and Holster has been hitting on Mashkov for Ransom all night.”

“I think you’re confused -”

At that moment Dex entered the kitchen, stumbling to a halt as though he interrupted something more than two friends talking.

“Dex,” Kent said with a smile. “How long have you and Bitty been dating?”

His face flushed immediately a bright brilliant red. “Two years.”

Kent turned to look at Jack with a raised brow. Jack huffed at him before directing his attention back to Dex.

“Will you tell Kent that Chowder is with Farmer?”

“Yeah he and Farmer are going on four years I think? The three of them just had their one year anniversary last week.”

“Three of them?” Kent asked, even though he already knew where this conversation was going.

Dex nodded enthusiastically and swiped two beers from the fridge. “Chowder, Farmer, and Nursey.

“What about Ransom and Holster?”

Dex shrugged. “Pretty sure even they don’t know what exactly they are. Anyway,” he pointed over his shoulder, “I promised Bitty a drink.”

“Not a word,” Jack said, fighting a smile.

“Word,” Kent said with a laugh as he dragged Jack out of the kitchen with him.

They rounded the corner back into the living room and at that moment Ransom and Holster slipped out of the apartment with Mashkov on their heels. Kent didn’t say anything, but he did look at Jack with a smug smile.

Jack rolled his eyes. “If you’re so good at figuring this stuff out, why did you think I was straight?”

The smile slipped from Kent’s lips. The party around them seemed far too loud all of a sudden. He shrugged. Shitty walked over a moment later and drunkenly began serenading Jack loud enough for him to miss Kent’s response.  

“I thought I was seeing what I wanted to see.”

_/\\_ _/\\_ _/\\_

Pique 11:45 pm   
Do you ever feel completely alone even when you’re surrounded by people?

Anon 11:56 pm   
Yes.

_/\\_ _/\\_ _/\\_

Kit sat perched in Kent’s lap as he and Jack watched a recap of the Aces’ game. Without Kent on their line and with a few new inexperienced trades and callups they were not faring well.

“Is it super vindictive of me to be kind of glad that management has to deal with this shitshow in my absence?”

Jack barked out a laugh that startled Kit into giving him a death glare. “I think you’re entitled to a little schadenfreude.”

The game was a brutal loss for his old team and knocked them out of the playoffs. It seemed to Kent that the commentators mentioned him more now than they had back when he was actually on the team.

_You know John, you have to wonder what management was thinking when they traded Parson._ One of the commentators said as the screen behind him showed the Sharks celebrating their 7-2 win. _The Aces have always been very solid players, but it wasn’t until they had Parson that they started winning cups. Parson was just the sort of chaos they need on a team like that. Bucard and Jensen - they’re good players, good players for sure, but they just aren’t at the same level._

_I agree,_ the other old white sportscaster said _. Right now if I was on the Aces I would be hoping that 1st round pick is worth it. Parson was a desperately needed wildcard on a team that didn’t like to take chances._

“It’s like now that I’m gone I can do no wrong. They used to tear me apart over everything.”

“Clearly you’re a hockey god now,” Jack said deadpan. He left the room and grabbed a drink for both of them, before returning, sitting closer to Kent than before.

Kent ripped his attention away from where their legs touched and back to the screen where the commentators were still talking about the trade rather than the game that they were supposedly recapping.

_I’m just saying I don’t think it’s fair to have Parson and Zimmermann on the same team. You put that much talent on the same line and it’s no wonder the Falconers haven’t lost a game since their first win with Parson. When it’s that unevenly matched why bother watching the other teams at all._

_Of course everyone’s watching the Falconers John. They are playing some amazing hockey and poised to break a record that’s been standing for over two decades. Why shouldn’t two of the best names in hockey be allowed to play on the same team? That doesn’t automatically mean they’ll work well together. Just look at the first few games the Falconers played after they acquired Kent Parson - it clearly took time and training together to get to the point where they are now._

“I like that commentator,” Kent said as he pulled out his phone. He had to lean even further into Jack to take it out of his pocket, but Jack barely seemed to notice. Kit on the other hand, leapt from his lap with an indignant meow.

“Sorry princess,” he said, pulling up his old group text with the Aces.

 

Kent 2:45 pm   
Sorry about the loss boys. Train hard and prove ’em wrong next year

 

Texts poured in from his old teammates, fast enough he had a hard time keeping up.

“Pretty much the entire Aces roster is rooting for the Falconers now that they’re out,” Kent said, tipping his phone screen towards Jack.

“Heh nice,” he said, peering over his shoulder.

It was only then that Kent realized he’d basically collapsed back into Jack’s space, half cradled against Jack’s shoulder. He didn’t know what would be worse, leaping away or staying put. He settled for shifting as inconspicuously as possible so they were still touching, but he was no longer resting against Jack’s chest.

“Hey look,” Kent said, trying to distract himself as much as he was trying to distract Jack. “One of my rookies sent me a link to a Tumblr account dedicated to our epic bromance. Tumblr is -”

Jack rolled his eyes and reached over Kent’s shoulder to press the link. “I know what Tumblr is.”

“Really?” Kent asked, sincere. He wasn’t chirping. Seriously.

“I’ll have you know that I even have a Tumblr.”

“No way. Do you ever post anything? No wait wait let me guess it’s a fandom blog.”

Jack grabbed Kent by the chin and turned his face back towards the screen. “Stop chirping me Kenny.”

“That wasn’t a no,” Kent mumbled as the link loaded and a bunch of gifs popped up on his screen.

Most of the gifs were of cellys where he and Jack hugged - which there seemed to be a lot more of when they were all compiled together. There were pictures of them at interviews and one user posted what seemed to be every picture they could find of the two of them from the awkward airport photos directly after the draft to the group shot they took at Jack's party a week prior. Laid out back to back like that it was easy to see the animosity slowly disappear and get replaced with friendship - Kent refused to name the emotion he saw in his own eyes in some of the more recent pictures.

He was just about to make fun of Jack for the face he was making in this one gif when a text notification popped up at the top of the screen.

 

Dad 2:50 pm   
_Content hidden_

 

“Dad?” Jack said, leaning back presumably to give Kent the privacy to look at the message. “Is that one of the guys’ nicknames?”

Kent shook his head and clicked on the notification.

 

Dad 2:50 pm   
If you send me 10k I can fly out to watch ur game next week

 

He took a deep breath and thumped his head against the back of the couch before throwing his phone down onto the coffee table far harder than was probably good for it. “No it’s my real dad.”

“But -” Jack said, obviously unsure about how to continue tactfully, but when was Jack ever tactful. “I thought your parents were dead.”

Kent opened his eyes to glare at Jack, but there was no real heat behind it. When they were kids Kent was in foster care. He knew he’d mentioned his mom occasionally and his dad pretty much never. Kent could see how he had sort of implied they were both dead.

“He was more deadbeat than dead.” Kent shrugged. “I didn’t know who my dad was when we were in juniors. He came out of the woodwork when I was drafted and I sort of latched onto him.”

Jack froze beside him and Kent rushed to reassure him. “Don’t worry about it, it wasn’t your fault. Even if everything hadn’t gone down between us I’m pretty sure things would’ve ended up the same with my dad.”

“Does your dad live back in Vegas?”

Kent nodded, unable to read Jack’s tone. “Yeah. I don’t see him often though.”

Jack stood abruptly enough that Kent nearly fell off the couch.  

“I have to go.”

“Is everything okay?” Kent said, righting himself.

“Yeah.” Jack wouldn’t meet his eyes. “I just remembered I’m supposed to skype with Shitty tonight.”

“Okay,” Kent said slowly. “Tell him hi from me.”

Jack nodded mutely before darting out the door.

 

Pique 3:05 pm  
Sorry I’ve been sporadic about texting lately. I won’t ask if you’re still in the playoffs or not, but if you are, good luck <3

Pique 7:55 am   
I think my friend is ignoring me. Do you think it’s best to let him work it out on his own or ask him about it?

Pique 8:10 am  
I think I’ll wait it out. I used to really annoy him by not letting him have his space.

 

Jack was uncharacteristically quiet the next day, but Kent made an effort not to freak out about it. He had a support system now, even if it was relatively small. He had friends on his new team and Jeff and Scraps on his old one. He had Anon. He was okay.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Ah so sorry I forgot to post this last night! Thank you all so much for your comments <33


	7. Chapter Seven

From: anonymous190@gmail.com  
To: somehowyoustillmakemesmile@gmail.com  
Date: 4/22 5:59 am  
Subject: Tumblr is weird

Pique,

You know I’m not the best at navigating social media - even though I did find your hockey confessions tumblr all those months back - but I just stumbled upon something kind of crazy. There’s apparently an entire tumblr dedicated to hockey butts. I’m not sure how I feel about that. I guess mostly flattered, plus it does provide me with the perfect chirping material on some of my teammates.

I think I’m a little delirious this morning to be sending this.

Love,  
Anon

P.S. Sorry I’ve been quiet lately, I was figuring some things out.

 

From: somehowyoustillmakemesmile@gmail.com  
To: anonymous190@gmail.com  
Date: 4/24 1:59 pm  
Subject: Hockey butts

Oh man! I wish I could send you the link to the blogs - PLURAL - dedicated to my ESPN body issue. Once we meet in person I’ll have to send you the link. 

Love,  
Pique

 

After their latest win, they were so close to the cup Kent could taste it. Things with Jack were still a little awkward, but after talking things through with Tater, he suspected it was just the pressure of the cup looming that was finally getting to Jack.

Kent had always handled the pressure better, but the constant talk about the Zimmermann- Parson no look one timer on nearly every channel was starting to get to him too. He shouldn’t be watching media coverage about himself, but he had it on in the background while he played with Kit on the floor of his living room anyway. Better to at least know what they were saying, right?

According to the show host if the Falconers could keep their win streak up a little longer, they would break the record for longest string of winning games - no pressure.

“What do you think Kit?” Kent said, as Kit pounced on her toy mouse.

Kent’s phone rang. He turned down the tv volume as he answered it.

“Did you get my care package?” Padma asked after a brief hello.

“Not yet. You didn’t bake anything for me, did you?”

“Hah.” Padma laughed sharply. “It’s nothing cooked. You don’t have to worry.”

Kent smiled. “Okay good.” The doorbell rang. “Hang on a sec, someone’s at the door.”

He padded over to the door and opened it to reveal Jeff on his doorstep, duffle over his shoulder. “Swoops!!”

The phone clattered to the floor as Kent leapt towards him, wrapping him up in a hug. Jeff hugged him back tightly and he never wanted to let go. He’d missed his friend.

Several long moments later Jeff pulled back from the hug and nodded towards Kent’s phone. “You might want to finish your call to Padma.”

Kent scrambled to pick up his phone. “Sorry,” he said breathlessly.

“I take it you liked my care package?” He could hear the smile in her voice.

“Yup. Sorry you’re never getting him back.”

He hung up to the sound of her laughter and led Jeff into his apartment. “Dude what are you doing here?”

Jeff shrugged. “We’re out of the playoffs. I figured I’d come visit my friend.”

“How long are you here for?”

“As long as you’ll have me.” He smiled. “Padma is planning on coming out for the cup finals if you don’t mind having me as a guest until then.”

“Bro don’t jinx it.” Kent slapped him on the shoulder. “But you know you’re welcome here as long as you want.”

_/\\_ _/\\_ _/\\_

That evening Kent was snuggled up with Kit on his lap and Jeff at his side watching animal planet when his phone buzzed.

 

Jack 8:30 pm  
Can I come over?

Kent 8:31 pm  
Sure, let yourself in

 

“Yo, Jack’s gonna drop by in a minute FYI.”

Jeff gave him a look he couldn’t quite decipher before turning back to the T.V. with a hum of acknowledgement. Jack must’ve already been outside his building when he texted because it was only a moment later when a key turned in the lock.

Jeff raised a judgemental brow at him. Kent ignored him.

“Kenny, I -” Jack said as he walked in, stopping short at the sight of Jeff on the couch. “Sorry-”

“You’re so Canadian,” Kent said, fondly. “Come sit down.” He scooted closer towards Jeff to make room even though the armchair was empty.

Jack stood frozen in the doorway for a moment before crossing the room towards them. Jeff stood at his approach, puffing up to his full height.

“Jeff Troy.” He stuck out a hand. Kent rolled his eyes.

“Jack Zimmermann.” Jack shook his outstretched hand. “Sorry to hear you got knocked out of the playoffs.”

“Don’t know what they expected when they completely screwed our lines that late in the season.”

Both men sat down on either side of Kent and an awkward silence settled over them, broken only by the sportscasters droning away on the television. After a few minutes Jack stood, walking towards the kitchen.

“Grab me an iced tea,” Kent called after him. “You want anything?” he said, turning to Jeff.

“I’m good.”

Jack returned a second later with two glasses of water. He sat back down, holding a glass out towards Kent.

Kent stared at the drink before looking back at Jack.

“You shouldn’t ask your captain to get you a sugary caffeinated drink at 9pm the night before a playoff game.”

Jeff huffed out a small laugh and Kent glared at him before looking back at Jack with his best puppy-dog eyes. “Come on Zimms. Please.”

Jack rolled his eyes and stood. “One of these days those eyes won’t work on me Kenny.”

“But today is not that day,” Kent called after him as he walked out to the kitchen.

“I guess I know why you stopped calling me freaking out,” Jeff said in a hushed voice.

“What?” Kent whispered back, throwing a quick glance at the empty doorway to the kitchen.

“Come on Kent. I’m not an idiot.” Jeff raised a brow “I’m glad you two have worked things out, but if he hurts you again he’s going to have to deal with me.”

“Woah - wait Jeff it’s not like -”

“Found it,” Jack said as he returned. He cast a suspicious look between the two of them before handing Kent his drink. He didn’t sit back down. “Maybe I should go. You two haven’t seen each other in a while and I just barged in -”

“No,” Kent said. “It’s fine.”

Before he could say anything else his phone started ringing. He looked down to the screen with a groan. “It’s my agent. I’ll be right back.” He gave Jeff a warning look before he went down the hall into his bedroom to take the call.

Kent’s agent was calling about some sponsorship deal. Sometimes Kent wondered if his agent remembered that he played hockey and basically living and breathing the sport until they were done for the season. Kent agreed to a meeting before pocketing his phone and walking back towards the living room.

“Kent -”

He was just about to turn the corner towards the living room when he heard his own name and stopped short. He knew eavesdropping was a bad idea, but he was nosy - so sue him.

“loved you. He loved you and you didn’t talk to him for years.”

If Jack responded, it was quiet enough Kent didn’t hear it. “He’s got me now, so you need to back off.”

“You think I don’t -” Jack started, but Kent wasn’t about to let the pair of them start a fight.

He rounded the corner and glared at the pair of them. “Seriously? I was gone for two minutes.”

“He -” Jeff started to say, but Kent cut him off.

“Jack is my _friend_ ok?”

Jeff grumbled his agreement and Kent nodded, satisfied.

“I’m intruding on your time together.” Jack’s shoulders were up to his ears and Kent wanted more than anything to wrap him up in his arms, but he was already fleeing. “I’m going to go.”

“You don’t have to leave,” Kent said, though he knew he wouldn’t be able to change Jack’s mind.”

“I’ll see you tomorrow Kenny.” Jack nodded at Jeff. “Troy.”

As soon as the door thudded behind him, Kent turned to Jeff with a scowl. “Bro come on!”

“I just don’t want to see you hurt again Parse.” Jeff shrugged unapologetically. “You were in such a bad place when you joined the Aces. I just want you to be happy.”

 

From: anonymous190@gmail.com  
To: somehowyoustillmakemesmile@gmail.com  
Date: 5/25 9:42 pm  
Subject: Re: Anybody in there?

I think I know who you are. I think I’ve known for a while if I’m being honest with myself. _As de pique_ , right? Ace of spades.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> AHHHH we're closing in on the end! Only three more chapters left. Thanks so much for reading <3


	8. Chapter Eight

Kent nearly had a panic attack when he read Anon’s email. He thought he was being so careful. In hindsight he wasn’t exactly subtle. He had been trying to fall asleep in his room when he foolishly checked his email. Now his heart was racing and there was no way he’d be able to go to bed anytime soon. He took in a deep calming breath and got up, wandering out into the living room where Jeff was watching a movie with the volume low and subtitles crawling across the screen. 

“Kent,” Jeff said without glancing up from the screen. “What’re you doing still up? I thought you were going to bed ages ago.” 

Kent shrugged even though Jeff wasn’t looking at him. He walked around the side of the couch and plopped down with his head landing roughly against Jeff’s shoulder. 

“Ow.” 

“Anon knows who I am.” 

Jeff lurched up as though he had somewhere to go. “What? Who’s he?” 

He buried his face in Jeff’s neck. “I don’t know. He just emailed me and basically called me Kent - I mean not in so many words, but…” 

“Are you okay with that?” 

Jeff was warm and Kent was feeling marginally calmer already. He shrugged again. “I think I don’t have the extra brain capacity to think about this right now. I’ll worry about who he is and freak out about him knowing who I am after the finals.” 

“The former teammate in me wants to agree that compartmentalizing is a good idea.” Jeff shifted so Kent wasn’t at quite as awkward of an angle. “But the rest of me wants to tell you that putting it off won’t solve anything.” 

“I’ll worry about it after the playoffs are over.” 

Jeff sighed, but thankfully changed the subject. “Looks like Padma will be booking a ticket to come out next week.” 

Kent sat up straight and shoved Jeff in the shoulder. “Don’t jinx it man.” 

 

From: somehowyoustillmakemesmile@gmail.com  
To: anonymous190@gmail.com   
Date: 5/25 11:13 pm  
Subject: 

Anon, 

There’s no point in denying it. You’re right. I’m Kent Victory Parson. I want to know who you are, but can we wait until after the finals? I think my brain can only handle freaking out about one thing at a time at the moment. 

Love,  
Kent

 

Anon 6:02 am  
I know your middle name isn’t victory. 

 

Kent laughed at the text. Things could be the same for just a little bit longer. 

Of course they were up against the Sharks in the finals. Last time Kent had played the Sharks he’d been on the Aces and ended up with a concussion. He fucking hated the Sharks. The Falconers lost their first game against the team and therefore broke their winning streak. 

The night after their loss, he and Jack went out to dinner with the Zimmermanns. He would’ve preferred to go out after a win, but he couldn’t be too disappointed. The Falconers now held the longest streak of winning games in NHL history. 

They were at a ridiculously fancy restaurant in downtown Providence. The sort of place Kent probably would’ve worried he was using the wrong fork if he cared about that sort of thing. It was a weird flashback to juniors if Kent was being honest about it. 

“Kent,” Alicia said once the waiter had disappeared after taking their order. “I’m so glad you and Jack are together again. You seem to be all Jack can talk about now that you’re on the same team.” 

He flashed a smirk at Jack, whose face was flushed bright red. “It’s good to see you both too.” Kent glanced down at his water shyly. “I missed you guys.”  

“I hope you’ll be spending some of the off season with us up in Montreal?” 

“If it’s okay with Zimms.” Kent tried to catch Jack’s eye unsuccessfully. “I wouldn’t want to intrude Bob.” 

“Nonsense,” Bob waved his hand and nearly smacked his wine glass from the table. “We’d love to have you. Actually I was asking before but I’m not now. You have to come. There it’s settled.” 

“Come Kenny,” Jack whispered before Kent could reply.

He nodded, swallowing past the lump in his throat. 

* * *

 

# Former Rivals get Cozy at Providence Restaurant

Dmitry Hannah   1:45 PM ET  
TMZ Staff Writer

 

Kent Parson was spotted at a five star restaurant last night with teammate Jack Zimmermann and his famous parents, Bad Bob and Alicia Zimmermann. It has us wondering if the pair is more than friends (again?).

Prior to Parson’s trade, the group hadn’t been photographed together in nearly a decade. Hockey fans will recall that the four used to be seen together frequently before Jack Zimmermann’s overdose. A source close to the family says that the pressure from Jack’s drug problem caused a strain on the family’s relationship with Parson. 

Apparently time heals all wounds since Parson and Zimmermann seem to be inseparable now that they’re back on the same team. Other patrons at the restaurant noted Alicia greeted Parson with a warm embrace, while Bad Bob clapped him on the shoulder like an old friend. 

If Parson and Zimmermann are indeed dating, they would not only be the first out players in the NHL, they’d be the league’s first power couple as well. 

Have a tip? Click here  
386 comments - click to expand

* * *

 

When practice was over Kent wanted nothing more than to take a nice hot bath. He shoved his gear into his locker and turned to leave when he spotted Jack. He was sitting on the bench beside his locker. To anyone else it would look like he was staring into space, but Kent knew that face. Jack was beating back panic and could use a friend to take him out of his head.

“Hey Zimms,” Kent called, swinging his duffle over his shoulder as he walked across the locker room towards him. “We’re watching Mean Girls.” 

Jack’s eyes snapped back into focus. “I’m going to go home and watch tape Kent.” 

Kent grabbed Jack by his elbow and lifted him off the seat. “Nope, you need a break and I’m making you come over to watch Mean Girls.” 

Tater caught his eye and frowned slightly before turning a beaming grin on the pair of them. “Captain,” Alexei stage whispered loud enough for the entire locker room to hear. “Parson pretend he wants to watch movie for your sake.” He patted Jack on the shoulder. “But he too embarrass to admit he wants movie for himself. Take pity on him.” 

The guys started in on chirping Kent and the tension slowly bled from Jack’s shoulders. Kent breathed a sigh of relief and sent a Tater a grateful smile. 

Jack and Jeff were better now than they’d been when Jeff first came to visit, but Kent hoped his friend wouldn’t want to join in on their movie night. Kent pushed open the door and called out a greeting as Kit darted towards freedom. Jack scooped her up without getting bitten or scratched, which was something of an accomplishment. They closed the door behind them and walked into the living room. Before Kent could start wondering where Jeff was, he heard footsteps in the hall by his bedroom. 

“Hey Kent,” Padma said, turning the corner into the living room. 

Kent ran to her, nearly crushing her with his hug. “What’re you doing here?” 

She shrugged once he loosed his grip enough for her to be able to breathe. “I had some vacation time sitting around collecting dust. Figured I might as well use it to come earlier than planned to make sure you and Jeff weren’t getting up to too much trouble.” 

Kent grinned at her. “We were saving the trouble for when you arrived.” 

“Who’s your friend?” Padma asked.

Kent had almost forgotten Jack was there.

“She’s not kidding,” Jeff said as he entered the living room. “She has her head in the sand when it comes to organized sports.” 

“Hey,” she said sharply. “I know the name of every winner of the cheese rolling competition at Cooper’s Hill for the last decade.” 

Kent rolled his eyes fondly. “This is Jack Zimmermann - 

“THE Jack-” 

Kent barreled on without giving her a chance to embarrass him. “Jack this is Padma, Jeff’s  _ much _ better half.” 

“What?” Jack looked between the three of them with his brow furrowed in obvious confusion. “You’re married?” 

Jeff nodded slowly. “Yup. Three years this January.” 

“So you and Parse aren’t…” 

“What the fuck Zimms? I think I just threw up in my mouth a little.” 

“Hey!” 

“Don’t worry baby,” Padma said, patting Jeff on the top of his head. “Kent would be lucky to have you.” 

“So you’re married,” Jack repeated as though this were still new information. “To a woman.” 

Jeff’s gaze flicked between Jack and Parse before nodding. “Yup. Now Padma and I are going to go out for some drinks.” 

Jack stumbled a half step back before flopping down on the couch. 

“We could get a hotel,” Padma suggested with a glance at Jack.  

“No,” Kent waved a dismissive hand. “My guest room is all yours.” 

Kent sat down on the couch with a foot of space between him and Jack, barely noticing as Jeff and Padma slipped out of his apartment. He could practically see the gears turning. Kent grabbed the remote and handed it to Jack. 

“You can pick.” 

“You’re not seeing Jeff.” 

“Oh my god Jack. I am single as fuck. Try not rub it in.” 

A small smile flicked across Jack’s face and Kent had to practice his deep breathing techniques to avoid punching him. “Pick the movie Jack,” he said through gritted teeth.

“We can watch that one you were talking about before.” Jack handed Kent the remote and disappeared into the kitchen. 

Jack returned to the living room a minute later with a protein shake in each hand for the both of them. 

“I have popcorn you know,” Kent said, accepting the drink. 

Jack smiled at him as he sat down close enough their legs were touching. “I know.”  

At some point Jack had shifted so his arm was along the back of the couch behind Kent. He hadn’t noticed until about halfway through the movie when Jack’s arm slid down so it was loosely slung around his shoulders. Kent’s breath hitched and he willed himself to not be weird about it. Jack was comfortable with him because they were friends. 

The way he nudged Kent to relax into him didn’t mean anything. The small circles he rubbed into the bare skin of his arm didn’t mean anything either. 

The click of the door shutting jolted Kent awake. He blinked roughly into the dark room, illuminated only by the blue glow of the scene selection menu on the dvd. Jeff and Padma had just walked in, Padma grabbed Jeff by the shoulder and sent Kent a little wave before leading her husband down the hall. 

It took a long minute to realize the wide eyed look on his friend’s face was probably because he and Jack had somehow ended up mostly lengthwise on the couch, Kent’s face cushioned on Jack’s chest with a strong heavy arm across his back. Kent closed his eyes and basked in the feeling for a long moment before prying himself out of Jack’s grip and shaking him gently awake. 

“You can sleep here if you want, but you can’t sleep on the couch the night before a game.” 

Jack sat up slowly, wiping the last vestiges of sleep from his eyes. He looked up at Kent and smiled. “Goodnight Kenny.” 

Kent’s heart thumped painfully in response. 

Once Jack had gone home, Kent snuggled cradled Kit to his chest and made a silent promise to himself. He wouldn’t let Jack lead him on. 

He’d talk to him once the playoffs were over. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> We're almost there!! Thanks again for all your comments and kudos, they really make my day <33


	9. Chapter Nine

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Warning: Mild description of an injury.

Game seven was brutal. Both teams scored a goal early on, but the score seemed to get stuck there for the rest of the game. They were so close to the cup Kent could taste it and he would be damned if they’d lose to the fucking Sharks. 

Kent was skating towards the goal, seconds from the buzzer going off. He took the shot as someone slammed into him from the side. Next thing he knew, he was waking up in the hospital with a drugged haze clouding his head and bandages wrapped tightly around his neck and chest. 

“Parsnip! You’re awake.” Tater’s voice felt too loud in the room alongside the quietly beeping machines. 

“Don’t ever pull a stunt like that again,” Jack said before Kent could respond. 

“For once we agree on something,” Jeff said tightly. 

“What happened?” 

“You almost died Kent,” Padma’s voice cracked. “You made the game winning shot and almost died going for it.” 

“Number 23 crashed into you. Rodriguez had gone down after the puck and you crashed into the bottom of his skate.” Jack's voice was tight. He was pissed. 

“You lost a lot of blood and needed some stitches, but the doctor said you’re lucky.” Jeff’s patted his shoulder. “You should make a full recovery.” 

“So we won?” 

“Jesus Kenny, you almost died. You needed a fucking blood transfusion.”  Jack took a deep breath and squeezed his hand. “I’m going to go let the doctor know you’re awake.” 

“Jeff and I are going to go back to your place and feed Kit. We just wanted to stay until you were awake. Do you need anything from home Kent?” 

Kent shook his head. “Thanks for taking care of Kit.” 

“Of course Kent.” 

As soon as the door shut behind them, Tater took Jack’s place at Kent’s bedside. “You are scaring captain.” 

Kent shrugged and the motion pulled roughly at his stitches. With the drugs he was on it didn’t exactly hurt, but the sensation was still unpleasant. “We won though, didn’t we?” 

“I know we need goal, but no one on team want you to hurt yourself for game.” Tater sighed. It felt wrong to see him without his trademark smile. “Jack attacked 23 after buzzer went, took five guys to pull him off.

“I keep telling him, Jack you need to go see Kenny in hospital, not go to jail for killing man for accident. It was like he not even hear me.” 

Kent couldn’t quite believe what he was hearing. Jack almost never got into fights, he was too much of an asset to the team to risk getting hurt. Kent knew Tater wasn’t lying, but he still found it hard to believe. 

“There was so much blood Parsnip.” 

“I’m sorry,” Kent said, just as Jack returned with the doctor in tow, looking every bit as furious as Kent had ever seen him. 

_/\\_ _/\\_ _/\\_

Later, when Kent blinked awake, some of the drugs had worn off and he could feel every pulse of his heartbeat in his neck. It was dark in his room, light spilling in from the hall illuminating Jack’s sleeping form in the chair at his bedside. 

“Jack,” Kent whispered, testing to see how deeply he was sleeping. When he was satisfied Jack wouldn’t wake, he grabbed his phone from the nightstand. 

There were a bunch of texts from his current and former teammates, including several missed calls from Scraps. Kent shot off a quick text to his old team’s group chat letting them know he was okay before pulling up his browser. He typed his own name into the search bar and clicked on the first video.

Watching himself go sprawling straight onto the goalie’s skate made him twinge, but he kept watching. Blood seeped outward in a gruesome spiral from where he and Rodriguez were piled together. Rodriguez panicked and yanked his foot away, only making the injury worse. Kent watched as he lay on the ice, blood spurting from his neck like some macabre play.

Medics rushed onto the ice and the Kent on screen was motionless as he was carted off on a gurney. That’s when Jack lost his fucking mind. Kent’s goal was good - the game was over, but Jack didn’t seem to notice or care that they won. He whirled around and attacked Kremlier. 

Which yeah, Kremlier was an asshole who checked way too hard, but Kent rewound to watch again and the hit was clean. Plus the look on his face while he watched Kent get carried off the rink - leaving behind a puddle of blood that was still being absorbed into the ice - made it clear that it was an accident. Jack apparently didn’t notice or he didn’t care. No one could have doubt that Jack was Bad Bob’s son after watching that clip. It took both refs and five of his teammates to break up the fight. 

“You shouldn’t be watching that,” Jack said, and Kent jolted. He hadn’t realized Jack was awake.  

“Fuck Jack. I hate Kremlier just as much as any other guy, but you didn’t have to try to kill him. Did you get fined for intent to injure?” 

“You nearly died Kent.” 

He rolled his eyes. “I’m fine. ” 

Jack started to speak before pausing and taking a deep breath. “I don’t want to fight with you Kenny.” 

“Me neither.” 

Kent’s gaze drifted back towards his phone where video was replaying. He clicked off the screen.

“I’m sorry I scared you,” Kent said, swallowing his pride. He smirked a little. “And thanks for defending my honor.” 

A small smile finally cracked Jack’s rocky exterior. “We won Kenny.” 

A huff of laughter escaped him and he smiled. “Yeah. We did.” 

_/\\_ _/\\_ _/\\_

Kent was released from the hospital the following day. He wouldn’t be able to do anything too strenuous for a couple weeks so his stitches could heal, but he was happy to be headed home. George ended up being the one to drive him since he’d made Jack go home to get some rest a couple hours before and didn’t want to disturb him by asking for a ride.

“So,” George said once he was settled into the passenger seat of her car, “word on the street is Jack won’t have to worry about his publicity after that fight.” 

“Seriously?” Kent didn’t turn to look at her, neck too stiff for the movement. “I would’ve figured he’d be stuck doing a million charity events over the summer to improve his image after that fight.”

“Oh he’ll be doing a million charity events,” George said with a huff of laughter. “He might not have to worry about his image, but I don’t think anyone in League is too pleased about that fight.” George shrugged as they turned onto his street. “Most of the general public seem to think it was an overture of friendship - if somewhat aggressive.” 

They pulled into the parking lot for his apartment complex and George turned off the car, but made no moves to get out. “I’m here for you Kent. If there’s something you and Jack want to tell me, I’m on your side.” 

Kent’s heart skipped a beat. George couldn’t possibly be talking about what he thought she was talking about. Could management seriously get behind two players not only being into men, but being in a relationship with one another? Kent shook himself from the thought. It was a moot point anyway. He and Jack weren’t anything other than friends. 

“Thanks, but there’s nothing to tell.” Kent got out of the car and started slowly making his way towards the building with George hot on his heels. She hovered behind him on the way to the elevator, which would normally annoy Kent, but he wasn’t feeling particularly sturdy on his feet at the moment so the concern was appreciated even if it was embarrassing. 

It took them twice as long to reach his door as usual. “Do you want me to stay for a little while and help you get settled?” George asked him as he slid his key into the lock. “You shouldn’t be alone right out of the hospital.” 

He swung the door open at that moment to reveal Jeff, Padma, Jack, Tater and Thirdy in his living room. They all leapt up at his entrance, crowding forward. George put herself between him and his teammates.    


“Woah, not all at once.” 

Everyone but Jack and Jeff stepped back. Kent fought the urge to roll his eyes as they both tried to hug him first. He grabbed them each by an arm and dragged them together into a group hug.

He was even more thankful now that he hadn’t asked Jeff or Jack to pick him up with how ridiculous they were both acting. Jack refused to let go of Kent after their embrace, keeping a possessive hand on his shoulder or back when Padma and each of the guys came up to hug him before guiding him to sit down at the couch. 

“Well I can see you’re in good hands Parson,” George said with a smile. 

“Thanks for the ride.” 

“I would say anytime, but I’m hoping to never see you get injured like that again. You scared all of us for a while there Kent.” 

_/\\_ _/\\_ _/\\_

Kit didn’t like when too many people were around, but once Thirdy and Tater left she leapt up onto Kent’s lap and started purring. 

“So who wants to cuddle with me and Kit and watch a movie?” It felt like it took all of his energy just to get home from the hospital. 

Jack was already sitting next to him and he lifted his arm without a word for Kent to snuggle into his side. He didn’t know what his face was doing, but judging by the knowing look Padma sent his way, it was probably something embarrassing. 

“There’s a spot free Padma,” Kent said, patting the seat beside him. 

“I’m good right here,” she said with a wink.

“What about me?” Jeff asked with feigned offense. 

“I figured you’d want to stay over there in your armchair far away from Jack.” 

Jeff shrugged before turning to face Jack. “We’re friends now.” 

Kent twisted to look up at Jack before turning back to Jeff. “Are you seriously friends now because Jack almost murdered someone on my behalf.” 

“I wouldn’t have murdered him,” Jack murmured. 

Jeff shrugged. “We talked while we were waiting for you in the ER.” 

Kent waited for him to elaborate, but neither Jeff nor Jack seemed willing. Kent huffed a sigh and buried his face in Jack’s neck. “Someone turn on a movie.” 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> AHHHH so close to the end. Thanks so much for reading. The final chapter and epilogue should be up Wednesday.


	10. Chapter Ten

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> This is the end!

Next thing Kent knew he was waking up to voices speaking in low tones at the door. He was still drowsy enough that his eyelids felt too heavy to keep open. He dragged himself to consciousness 

“- doing here Mr. Savage?” Jeff said. 

“I came here to see my son - now are you going to let me in or what?” 

The pillow beneath Kent tensed. He opened his eyes, blinking in surprise when he realized it was Jack beneath him.  

“Kent,” his dad had at least a week’s worth of scruff, wild on his jaw. It wasn’t as if Kent could talk though, he hadn’t been able to shave his playoff beard yet. “How are you doing?” 

He tried to sit up, but Jack’s hand on his waist kept him where he was. “I’m okay. What are you doing here?” 

“I heard about your accident. I wanted to make sure you’re alright,” Kent’s heart leapt into his throat. “It isn’t bad enough you’ll need to retire, right?” His stomach sank as he shook his head, despondent. 

“Are you serious right now?” Jack said, voice eerily calm. “Your son nearly died and all you’re worried about is if he can play hockey.” 

“Who are you to judge me?” He stood in front of the couch, looking down at them. Padma and Jeff hovered uncertainly. 

“Dad,” Kent said plaintively. 

Jack shot Kent an uncertain look and shifted so Kent was no longer leaning on him. He stood and stretched out a hand that Kent’s father took uncertainly. “I’m someone who loves your son and doesn’t want to see him hurt. I hope you can say the same.” 

Kent’s father stepped back as though he’d been hit. “Of course I don’t want him hurt. I’m here, aren’t I?” 

Jack shrugged. “It seems like you’re more worried about your paycheck than you are about your son.” 

“How dare you-” 

“Guys,” Kent said, standing abruptly. Dots swam in his vision and he swayed for a second. Both his father and Jack reached out to steady him, but he ignored them. “Stop fighting. Please?” 

“Sorry Kenny,” Jack said, taking a deep breath. 

Kent’s dad nodded his acknowledgement before pulling him into a hug. “I’m glad you’re okay, kid.” 

Tears pricked his eyes. “You need to go to rehab.” The words spilled from Kent’s mouth without his conscious permission. His heart thudded almost violently against his ribs. He swallowed down the nausea rising in his throat. 

A dozen emotions flitted across his father’s face before settling on regret. He rubbed the back of his neck and slunk down into the armchair. Kent sank into the couch as Jeff and Padma retreated to the guestroom to give them privacy. Jack hovered uncertainly. 

“It’s okay Jack.” 

Jack squeezed his shoulder before disappearing down the hall behind Padma and Jeff. 

“You’re right.” His dad’s voice was resigned. He stared at his hands as he spoke. “I’ve known I had a problem for a long time, but I was too proud to admit it. I haven’t been a good father to you -” 

Kent made a noise to protest, but he kept going.

“I haven’t. You needed someone to be there for you and I’ve been so worried about the money that I haven’t worried enough about you. I can’t promise things’ll change overnight - I’ll probably never be the father you deserve, but I’m going to try.” 

Tears spilled over, slipping silently down his cheeks. “Why the change of heart?” 

His father’s eyes flicked down to the bandages still covering Kent’s neck and chest before meeting his gaze again. “I was in a bar watching your game - I watch ‘em all when I can - and saw you go down.” He cut off, shaking his head. “There was so much blood.” 

Kent’s dad left a little while later. He hadn’t asked for a dime, for the flight or the motel where he was staying. He wondered how long it’d last.

_/\\_ _/\\_ _/\\_

Kent was pretty much back to his old self, maybe a little more lethargic than usual, but nothing he couldn’t handle on his own. Jeff and Padma were headed back to Vegas now that Kent was feeling better, and his dad had already left - supposedly to enroll in a rehab facility. 

About an hour after Jeff and Padma left for the airport there was a knock at Kent’s door. He had barely moved to get it when a key slid into the lock and Jack was letting himself in with a duffle over his shoulder. 

“Hey Zimms,” Kent said, sinking back into the couch. “What’re you doing here?” 

“Why didn’t you tell me Jeff was leaving?” He set his bag down before disappearing into the kitchen. 

“I didn’t know you’d care?” Kent craned his neck as Jack reappeared with a protein shake and a fresh banana. Kent didn’t even know he had bananas. 

“You shouldn’t be alone.” 

“Well my doctors disagree. “ 

“Kenny,” Jack said plaintively. 

“Ugh fine.” Kent never did learn how to say no to him. 

They were halfway through a game of palace when Kent remembered he’d never contacted Anon to let him know he was okay. He’d completely forgotten in the chaos of the past few days. Anon knew who he was and was probably worried sick about him after watching the cup finals. 

“Hang on a sec,” Kent said, laying his cards face down in front of him and attempting to do some couch acrobatics to reach his phone on the end table. Jack huffed out a laugh at him and Kent scowled. He finally got a grip on his phone and turned back to face Jack. “Isn’t that what you’re here for?” 

“You’re perfectly capable of standing up to get your phone.” 

“Yeah yeah,” Kent said, pulling up his chat app. 

 

Pique 4:32pm  
Hey! Sorry I’ve been off the grid lately. I’m sure you saw what happened to me in the finals, but don’t worry! I’m okay and on my way to a speedy recovery. 

 

When Kent finished sending his text he looked up and saw Zimms was on his phone too. Jack rubbed his hands on his thighs and met Kent’s gaze with a look he couldn’t quite read.. 

“I’m glad you’re recovering quickly.” Jack’s eyes darted away before flicking back to meet Kent’s. 

“Yeah,” Kent said slowly. “Me too.” 

“I mean - no - I’m trying - Kenny I’ve -” Jack cut off each statement more abrupt than the last. 

“Breathe Zimms,” Kent said, reaching across their abandoned card game to squeeze Jack’s arm. 

Jack took a deep fortifying breath before meeting Kent’s gaze head on. “I’m Anon.” 

“What?” Jack couldn’t be Anon. He couldn’t be the man Kent spent the better part of the year falling in love with. 

“I’m Anon,” Jack repeated. “I’m the man you’ve been talking to since November.” 

Hope and fear blossomed in his chest. Kent squashed them both down.“Did you know? Did you know you were talking to me the whole time?” 

Jack shook his head emphatically. “ _ No. _ Kenny I swear I didn’t. I found your blog ages ago and -” he cut off abruptly, blushing. “- I felt a connection to you. The way you encouraged players who confessed they wanted to quit, the hockey advice you gave to those looking for it, or just the way you gave people a platform to get something off their chest and I - I didn’t know it was you Kent. 

“When I made my own confession it was cathartic and I thought that’d be it. I had no idea you’d respond back, or that we’d become so close.” Jack shifted forward, cards cascading to the floor forgotten. “I suspected you were Pique a few times, but there were pieces that didn’t fit. The main thing was your dad. When I realized he was alive and you two were in touch - that’s when I figured out you were the same person.” Jack took a deep gasping breath. “Say something Kenny, please.” 

Kent shook his head. “You’re such an asshole.” He lunged forward and crushed their mouths together in a bruising kiss.

Jack startled before melting into the kiss, arms coming up to drag Kent closer until they were chest to chest. Kent got lost in the sensation of lips against lips. His right hand was buried in Jack’s hair, left cradling his face. He could kiss Jack Zimmermann forever and it still wouldn’t be long enough. 

Jack broke the kiss several long breathless minutes later. “Why am I an asshole?” 

“Because,” Kent said, sliding into his lap and pressing a kiss to the hinge of Jack’s jaw. “I thought I finally got over you when I fell in love with this guy I was emailing.” Kent kissed his way down the hollow of Jack’s throat, smiling into his skin at the pleased moan that slipped past Jack’s lips. “But it turns out I got over you with you.” 

Fingers cupped Kent’s jaw, drawing him away from the hickey already blooming on Jack’s neck. Jack stroked a delicate finger along Kent’s lips before drawing him into another kiss. “I love you too Kenny.” 

Kent’s heart stuttered in his chest, he’d waited a long time to hear those words. He kissed him again. It was worth the wait. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you so much for reading!!


	11. Epilogue

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> One year later

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Tater steals their thunder by coming out with two boyfriends a year later, but that is another story.

**Author's Note:**

> Next update should be Sunday. Thanks for reading, I'd love to know what you think! :)


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